127. Aggressive Employment

Shitting on a desk pretty much guarantees you ANY job

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4 Responses to ". Aggressive Employment"

  1. Mike C. Exclaimed:

    I wonder if they offer tuition reimbursement for dental programs.

    August 24, 2011

  2. Sutter Shouted:

    Good point, Mike. The Fucking Asshole program has many branches of concentration. You might say their graduates ate everywhere.

    August 24, 2011

  3. Hufnor Mumbled:

    Most unfair statement, Sutter. I, a MFA myself, most definitely did never eat everywhere. I only targeted specific establishments with the meekies of staff to let my assholeness shine particularly bright. Sadly, that is over now, since I misjudged a certain Irish Pub (I took a pub actually owned by a descendant of the mighty and fierce celtic warriors for one of those O’let’s put O’lot O’f O’green and O’shamrocks O’ll O’round places). After having his face bethrown in a short succession with an almost full glass of Guiness and a particularly assholish remark concerning how the only Guinessy part of that so called beer would be the Guiness world record for the foulest and most vile slops ever produced, the auburn-haired gentleman at the taps let his trusty shilleagh fly. When a mirthful cyclist catches a fly travelling 20 mph in his teeth, he gains much appreciated protein. When a smirking professional asshole catches a few pounds of smoke hardened oak doing about 40 in the same, the wittithithhms and inthulths do not thrike tho thure any more. Dentally gelded as I am, I still eat out, but again, not everywhere. For athough I was forced to abandon my profession and way of life, as my blended hamburgers would oft contain ridiculous amounts of spit, some restaurant staff simply do not understand my now polite orders.

    August 25, 2011

  4. bearskinrug Exclaimed:

    You should never have gone to Irish Pubs, Hufnor. Best bet would have been to eat strictly at vegan dining establishments. I find those patrons to be too weak from hunger to offer any kind of resistance.

    August 25, 2011

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